As a busy business in the digital marketing field, we see weird things happen in the companies we work with. Sometimes, we think we’ve truly seen it all. But I’m sure there is more yet to come. For all the wonderful things we get to experience, there are also negatives that we see from time to time. Thankfully, the good FAR outweighs the bad.
We say that business owners need to earn badges – like Eagle Scouts – for the experiences we have had and survived. Here are a few example badges I, and some of our clients (these can’t ALL be my own stories), would have sewn on my little vest if this was a real thing:
- Sued someone
- Been sued
- Victim of non-clients making false reviews about business online (people you haven’t even met?!)
- Fired employees on the spot
- Get yelled at by an employee (who was then fired)
- Ripped off by a customer
- Ripped off by an employee
- Someone broke into the office
- Hot tub got stuck in a drive-through
- Trailer stolen with a swim spa on it
- Employee defend against an office break-in by taking the shotgun out of their truck and walking around in the dark office with no shirt looking for the culprit. (Brave or stupid – you be the judge – but why no shirt?)
- Found an alligator in the pool while cleaning it
- Discovered a bear (or bears) in the hot tub (more than one client has reported this)
- Employee threaten to kill you or your family
- Had an employee who had previously been fired try to re-apply to a showroom under a different name – but with the same face…
- Above ground pool fail when an actual elephant escaped from the local zoo and stepped on the side while rampaging through the back yard.
Ok, I made that last one up… But still – business owners experience some weird stuff. We learn from each weird experience we have and it makes us better at business.
So – that is why it is SOOOOO weird to us here in the marketing industry, when we see clients who are smart, logical people make terrible, illogical business decisions about their marketing and sales.
Results are In
We took a poll at The Get Smart Group and came up with our staff’s top 10 Tried and True ways to screw up your digital marketing plan in 2020.
- Hire your geeky nephew to build your website – after all – he’s in college, he’ll be cheap AND he’s sure to be incredibly reliable and available in the future for any small changes you may need. Make sure you don’t get the passwords and that you don’t know where it’s hosted. He has always been so artistic…
- Have your teenage staff set up and run your social media. After all, you hired your geek nephew for the website. They are so hip and they already know more than you do, right? And they always will. Have them sign up your business page under their personal Facebook account.
- Before you hire your nephew – make sure to belittle the digital marketing and content done by the people you had working for you in the past – criticize the writing they did point by point – then once his new website is up, beg them for all their writing work back so you can have him put it on the new site – turns out you will still need good content after all.
- If and When a Facebook review crisis hits your company – ask your digital marketing agency for advice in how to address and respond to the problem – then do the exact opposite of what they say and make sure to publicly badmouth the customers who gave you the bad review so their 10,000 Facebook friends can also hate you online immediately. After all, you can always delete your business Facebook page and start #Fresh.
- Take a year to make a decision about what to do with your marketing this year. I mean, next year.
- Demand better results, but refuse to spend any money.
- Set amazing goals and give your team no new tools, training or leads to work with. After all – bonuses are incredibly motivating!
- Make sure your sales managers are incredibly lazy, controlling, unorganized and manipulative (or have any single one of these attributes), then put them in charge of all decisions in your business relating to the requirements of your salespeople to call or follow up with leads.
- Make sure you overpay for your leads. Or if that doesn’t work for you – make sure you don’t know what your leads are costing you at all. Ignorance is bliss.
- Make an important choice to go with a trusted and reputable marketing company – invest $10,000 or more in customized systems and infrastructure, invest your time to build it out with them – then change your mind 6 months later because your sales manager doesn’t think phone calls or emails are an effective followup solution for leads. And also – all Facebook and Google leads suck. Always. The only good leads are walk-ins.
- Bonus! Tell your team you are making a big investment in their ability to sell by doing #10 above. After they have been trained and are making progress and seeing more leads and sales-pull the rug out from underneath them and cancel the plan. Then expect them to be excited about and invested in your next big business decision.
The moral of the story is – learn from the mistakes of others and be conscious to make logical decisions for your business that are driven by data, not emotions. Then you’ll be able to avoid some of the potential pitfalls that await you on your business journey.